Courage to Stand Out.

Remember going to middle school and desiring to fit in or at least blend in enough not to be bothered? Those experiences can stick with us and teach us how conformity is safe. How we look, dress, communicate, and even our family dynamics can impact how much we blended in or stood out during that time. As we get older the same situations can play themselves out in different settings such as work or in our community. Becoming more aware of who we are allows us to embrace our differences and see them as gifts instead of hindrances.

You may not fit in how others would want you to on the job, with peers, or even with your family. You may have been told by others your difference was a problem or made to feel weird about it. I won’t deny the importance of feeling love and acceptance and it is not just something we can stop caring about automatically. But what I’ve noticed as a counselor and through life experiences is that those who embrace themselves seem to have an attractive quality about them. People may not say it directly, but many people admire and aspire to be someone who does not need much validation and can move through life with their own approval.

I’ll admit it takes an internal feeling of safety to move this way through life and it is okay to seek support if that is something that you want to work on. For most of us, it takes some level of support to develop healthy beliefs about ourselves and learning that it is okay (and safe) to be who we are. No one wants to feel physically or mentally unsafe being them. Many have traversed so much adversity and continue to just to feel safe in their skin.

I want to encourage you not to let fear run your life. We all want to feel life is worth living and cannot feel that way when we shrink or hide who we are to put others at ease. It’s true that we can move through life hiding ourselves and many do but this is not the full life that we all desire. Without the courage to be ourselves we can feel depressed, constant anxiety, fear, and loneliness. I hope this blog encourages you to identify possible opportunities to move out of any environment that causes you to shrink and find community with people who would gladly see you happy.

Courage is not just reserved for a select few but is something we all possess on some level, and it can develop into something meaningful and encouraging to those around us. When we embrace and own who we are it gives others permission to do the same. You are courageous and can do what is best for you. Take small steps and reflect on what is important to you.

Small steps could be:

1.        Slowly detaching from others who don’t value you.

2.        Researching areas of interest to you personally.

3.        Seeking out community who embraces your differences.

4.        Reflecting on your self-talk and noticing when you are feeling down.

5.        Seeking support from people you know or strangers who are open to your experience.

Talk soon,

Amanda