How to build unshakable confidence
It appears that confidence is always something we can see with our eyes. For example, observing that person walking across the room with their head held high or sitting at an event listening to someone talking with boldness and conviction. These things are signs of confidence, but what about the not so observable signs? What about the person sitting alone at a table or the person who chooses silence over being boisterous with their opinions? Are these people confident as well? I think so. Confidence does not always have to be loud or observable, it can be quiet, still, and sure. In this blog, I want to go over three tips that help build confidence from the inside out.
Prioritize Authenticity over Popularity
To be frank, many of us know that high school is never over. We may stop attending school but the mindsets on “groups” are still present. As adults we may recognize these things as “gatekeeping” or wanting to fit in with a certain industry of people to have more opportunities. Choosing to be authentic to ourselves can be hard because we want to “fit in” or benefit from the opportunities that advance our career. While it is not abnormal to want to fit in or benefit from opportunities that would help us or our family it can be damaging to our confidence in the long run if we must compromise our authenticity to receive it. Choosing our authenticity over an opportunity demonstrates confidence in ourselves and builds self-respect. It takes a certain faith in ourselves and our long-term goals to do such a thing. It takes patience to wait for the right opportunities rather than going for the first thing that presents itself if it means compromising who we are. But this is how we build an internal confidence that stands the test of time. Trust in yourself and what you value, by doing so you communicate your self-worth and respect. While people may not say it out loud, they notice this and deep down will respect it too.
Build a Strong Inner Dialogue
At this point we’ve probably all heard about the importance of how we talk to ourselves. I will say it is easier said than done. Mainly because it takes reflection and honesty to recognize those inner or subconscious thoughts that impact our thinking. We may first notice how we feel before we notice our inner dialogue. Certain environments or people could trigger negative self-talk so once we notice this, we are halfway there. To deal with my self-talk I like to record myself on a voice recorder saying some dope things about myself and listen to it when I’m feeling down. Whatever your form of taking in helpful self-talk just make sure you do it often. There will constantly be things to combat it. Regularly taking in positive feedback about yourself will cultivate your confidence from the inside out and that is something no one can take from you.
Allow adaptability
Life will take its own twist and turns that have the potential to shake us up. Initially these things will appear as a threat to our well-being, and they very well may be in some ways but that is not where they have to stop. As we face challenges, we get to choose how we want to allow them to influence us. I have faced several challenges with working with others this year. I learned how important it is to be assertive and know my values. When people have disappointed me, I could have just taken a bitter attitude about people and withdraw altogether. I chose to see these things as learning lessons rather than threats. This is a simple example, but I hope you can get the point that we all have choices when it comes to our thinking. Seeing things this way allows us to develop a growth mindset which builds our confidence in the long run.
These are a few steps I wanted to share with you. Confidence from the inside out is yours to own so take it and build.
Talk soon,
Amanda