Authentically Me
We hear so much about being authentic but it’s not that simple for all of us. For survival, we learn how to adapt and assimilate to what is needed to get through each day. It can feel scary to be ourselves in environments that are not accepting of what our authentic self may look like. From how we style our hair, our clothing, how we speak, and what hobbies we like can all influence how people perceive us. It is promoted not to care what people think but I think we all understand that can have its limits. We all desire to be accepted and loved to some capacity so what does being authentically you look like then?
Let’s dissect here. I want to tell you a story of when I worked for Juvenile Court. Looking back, I realize how I displayed my natural hair which was bold and big. At the time I did not see this as a radical thing but as I reminisce, I see how different this was at the time. I did have a boss who would wear her natural hair as well, however, not so bold and big as I wore mine, but it is possible that encouraged me to feel safe to do so. I was never criticized about my hair or asked to do something different but looking back it still felt weird to do. This is a small example of being authentic to yourself despite what you may think others may say.
Think about the importance of this in your own life. There definitely can be some give and take. It is understandable that you may have to meet certain dress standards or other criteria at your place of employment or school but if you have small opportunities to add your uniqueness, I encourage you to do so. I will admit this is trial and error. It comes down to trying new things and being willing to explore unknowns. Examples could be exploring your style with different colors, fabrics, and even researching what you feel fits your personality.
Learning what hobbies suit you is another way to embrace what is authentic to you. One way to recognize what works for you is seeing how you feel when using your free time. Noticing what makes you smile or feel motivated when you hear or see things that inspire you. You could notice wanting to learn more about something or being intrigued by what you see. It can take several steps and a lot of exploration but that is the fun part. We have the autonomy to say what works and what does not. I encourage you to continue your self-explorative journey.
Finding people who relate to our journey and our interests can be a helpful way to build community. If you know you like something specific, I encourage you to research it out and see if there are others in a similar place as you. Joining online or local networks can aid in us feeling comfortable to be our authentic selves.
So, what’s the point of this? Internally we want to communicate to ourselves that is okay and safe to be us. If we feel that there is no opportunity for this, it will create negative feelings and thoughts which impact our mood and overall motivation and performance throughout the day. We could feel sluggish, apathetic, upset, and isolated. This does not promote our wellness and can cause long-term issues. The goal is to be and feel well. Us getting to be authentically ourselves as much as possible helps with our overall wellness. So, let’s cheers to us learning and being us!
Talk soon,
Amanda